Tuesday, May 17, 2016

I just can't get you out of my mind

We think a lot about the physical component of diabetes, but the mental component is just as significant. How does diabetes affect you or your loved one mentally or emotionally? How have you learned to deal with the mental aspect of the condition? Any tips, positive phrases, mantras, or ideas to share on getting out of a diabetes funk? 

How does diabetes affect me mentally and emotionally? Well, let's just say that those are two different things for me. Mentally, meaning logically, meaning when it's just me, myself & I and my Dexcom and my Omnipod PDM and my glucose tabs and my glucagon kit and my Humalog and my Afrezza then I feel mostly pretty fine about things. Tough days are just that, tough days. Good days are simply days that are easier. It helps to keep my yoga practice in mind. In yoga, you are always reminded that you are a different person each time you come to the mat. What you could do yesterday might not work for you today. Yet it is all still there, still related, still part of your practice. To me, diabetes is simply another practice. I'm thankful to have been diagnosed in a time of such advancements in diabetes technology that it can be that for me. That I can largely avoid the inconveniences and the fears of things like testing my urine for my BG or not being able to control my basal insulin. So I can be easier on myself and think of my diabetes as a tool for living a generally healthier life. And as for a mantra, well....I don't quite have one of those but I do like to think about the fact that I'm beating the hell out of science.

Emotionally? That's another story. Diabetes is not something that I like to share. I do share, here on this blog, obviously. I like that my family reads this (s/o to them!) But that's after I've processed things and it's sharing from a safe distance. It's not really that vulnerable. I don't know yet what vulnerability around my diabetes really looks like. I've struggled with it before and I struggle with it constantly with my students, with my friends, with strangers. Every time I think I've come somewhat to terms with it, I hide another low blood sugar, I don't take a break when I need to, I remember that I still don't own a medic alert ID bracelet. 

But, I have made progress. I am practicing. I'm not perfect. Each day is just that, a day. I'm going to have this disease for a long time probably, so I have time to get better at it. I think the biggest tip I have for when I get upset or frustrated or want to murder my insurance company is to remember that I can do as much as I can, and no more. 

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